I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
