My boss' voice literally gives me gas
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
