K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
