i already hear my dad disowning me
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
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I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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