i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
