Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
