it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
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First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
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Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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