4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
50% drunk capacity currently
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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