Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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