i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
3 2 1 whiskey
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
