I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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