I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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