I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Randomize
