There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
