My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
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