This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
