Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
