you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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