bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
