these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
she told me i tasted like america
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
