You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
