dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
