Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
