he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
