sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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