I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
