It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
