she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize