you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
