just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
