Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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