we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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