My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
