Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Randomize
