your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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