does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
