I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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