Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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