Who wears a wallet chain?!
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
