A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Me too!
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
