In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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