YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
did you just send me my own nude
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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