Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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