we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
operation have a gay friend backfired
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
