have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize