Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
