Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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