we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
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