can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
