Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Randomize
