Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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