...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
