i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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