Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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