Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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