I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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