After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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