My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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