hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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