I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
